Life In A Lunar Light

Post your own poetry/creative writingto be read and voted on by others
Hosannas Evensong
Filthy Fuck
Joined: 20 Sep 2007, 12:11

20 Sep 2007, 05:23 #1

In the archway of mind-frames I lay rest my head games
To snowglades and Moonrays in graveyards the dead stay
At twilight before Night, that drapes everyday's light
To retreat and recede when stars peek from sky's seat
In lavender power caressing the hour
Where dark finds a black tower, and Night seeds become flower
Sprouting the riches in gardens of visions
Where phased Moons are forced no derisive decisions
I may be a blender of Darkness' gender
Waging my will on hermaphrodite's tender
But where is the fault in the beauty I trance?
The two-step and tumble of transcendent dance?
Show me the rust on my wax-coated lust
The silicone bust of my benighted trust
Curses are failing, and fingers are flailing
Congruity of morals is hopelessly wailing
So shrouded I stay with perversions on day
Closest to Night where my will may not stray
From reason, completion, or four favored seasons
Where man leads life naked, so self-skinned by treason
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ripley 4077
Vampire Mess
Joined: 28 Aug 2006, 22:43

14 Nov 2007, 15:47 #2

I love the way you have writter but I have to say that there were two or three places where I kinda lost the rhytm you inposed in the beginning Image but none the less it is my style of work!Image
'Beyond tears and humanity'
"When we uncover those feelings we hold so dear
and strip ourselves from all emotions bound to our soul
all that is left is the cruelty representing us..."
Image
"No gilded streets
of heaven's grace entice me in thy speech, no holy mother
doth condone all your pillage, war and
greed"
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Hosannas Evensong
Filthy Fuck
Joined: 20 Sep 2007, 12:11

18 Nov 2007, 04:51 #3

Thank you so much! This has been my treasured work for quite a while now. I can understand where the rhythm might bounce off track and that is something I have an incrediblly hard time dealing with.
I appreciate your criticism dearly.
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LibertinaLunaGrimm
Filthy Fuck
Joined: 01 Feb 2008, 04:06

16 Feb 2008, 22:27 #4

It's nice, I thought it was anywhoo. The visualization is nice. (Note: I can't spell, sorry!)
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