The sun is shining,
But my eyes see no light.
I see black,
I see people laughing, and loving thier life,
But all i hear is the screaming.
What is wrong with me?
I know that blood running through my veins
but all that i feel is pain,
the pain of wasted days, and of missed opportunities,
Sitting in my room alone,
I feel crowded,
My mind is yelling
"its not worth it!"
Is all I hear all day long,
when I sleep I dream of death
The blood has covered the floor,
I feel light headed
The pain rushes through my body like lighting
hitting the ground.
I think of everything I have been through,
a father leaving, of grandparents dying, of abuse,
the taste of insanity that has been on my tounge for far too long
i just wish everything was gone,
that all would be silent,
but to think!
after all that i've been through!
after 9 months in my mothers womb,
after the fourteen years she has cared for me,
after all the time living this life, enjoying this wonderful gift,
could i throw it away?
no, that can't be right.....
what a waste it would be...
perhaps there is a reason for me to carry on!!
perhaps i should continue,
but what reason do i have?
this answer i must persue.....
lest i become lost in the hopelessness and depression of this world.
(this is one of my first guys....be nice )